When you’ve scrolled via Nigerian Twitter (X) or TikTok these days, you’ve most likely seen the development. A younger girl attire up for various “varieties” of males: the politician, the tech bro, the Yahoo boy, in modern robes, designer baggage, and heels. However when it’s time to “gown for the 9–5 man,” she throws on a wrapper, wears a bonnet, and appears deliberately unbothered.
The message is loud: 9–5 males aren’t well worth the effort.
J u s t i c e for 9/5 guys 😭 pic.twitter.com/iltE3itEEG
— Boboye (@namelessD_) October 1, 2025
It was meant to be humorous, however it struck a nerve. The feedback had been flooded with arguments about how cash, class, and masculinity have been redefined in at present’s courting tradition. “When did sincere work cease being engaging?” many ask.
The brand new social hierarchy of males
In Nigeria’s social pyramid, cash has lengthy been a type of energy, however now, it’s additionally a type of intercourse attraction. The politician represents affect and entry. The tech bro symbolises innovation, mushy life, and world relevance. The Yahoo boy, regardless of his criminality, is portrayed in popular culture as flashy and “beneficiant.”
The 9–5 man, then again, the one counting right down to wage day, hustling via Lagos visitors, and dwelling paycheck to paycheck, is seen as financially restricted, struggling to “make it,” and by extension, much less fascinating.
What’s fascinating, although, is that this notion doesn’t simply come from shallow materialism. In our society, cash is a way of survival. Nigeria’s financial system is brutal, and many ladies are bored with struggling. If courting a sure type of man guarantees monetary stability or a softer life, can you actually blame them for selecting consolation over potential?
Many Nigerian ladies aren’t anti–9–5; they’re anti–battle. Years of “constructing with a person” tales that finish in betrayal or disappointment have left scars.
Constructing with a person is well one of many best disservice you’ll be able to ever do to your self.
They may make you remorse it😕 https://t.co/ZvXi5e13Xn— Hvrri3t!✧ (@harr1ezsq) June 16, 2025
Many Nigerian ladies have watched their moms endure with males who had good hearts however no cash; now, they wish to make “smarter” selections.
To them, marrying potential looks like a chance they’re not keen to dabble in.
How we glorify the tip and never the method
This mentality, the place solely seen wealth earns respect, has turn into the norm. The success tales we have fun are sometimes the flashy ones. We not often glorify the person who works exhausting, pays his payments, and builds slowly. As an alternative, we reward those who “blow.”
From music to Nollywood, the wealthy man will get the lady. The poor, hardworking man will get pity or humiliation. In that sense, the girl dressing in a wrapper for a 9–5 man is reflecting the already current narrative.
But, there’s an irony right here. These “mushy life” males that ladies declare to want (tech bros, politicians, or businessmen) are 9–5 males too, simply at larger ranges. Additionally they report back to bosses or buyers, maintain workplace hours, and chase deadlines. The one distinction is earnings and social notion.
And in Nigeria, standing usually outweighs substance.
Survival and gender strain
It’s simple to dismiss these preferences as greed, however many ladies are reacting to a system that punishes feminine vulnerability. Nigeria’s gender imbalance means a girl’s monetary dependence can shortly flip into emotional or bodily powerlessness.
So, when ladies say they don’t need “common males,” it’s a survival technique, not simply self-importance. Okay, possibly a little bit of self-importance. However primarily, survival.
On the flip facet, this mindset additionally places crushing strain on males. The broke-shaming tradition, the place a person’s price is tied to his pockets, pushes many into fraud, unlawful enterprise, or unsustainable life. Males really feel the necessity to “show” themselves earlier than being taken severely, and that race for validation can destroy lives.
The social media phantasm
Platforms like TikTok and Instagram have solely intensified this divide. We see curated variations of success just like the influencer couple in Paris, the tech bro along with his Tesla, and the slay queen unboxing her new iPhone 17.
This creates a false actuality the place the common Nigerian feels insufficient only for being regular.
As one X consumer wrote,
I don’t know 🤷 how 9-5 acquired a foul pr. When did labor turn into a shameful factor! Or working for individuals. You see a person genuinely striving, and you might be evaluating him to Tik tokers that dance for cash. We really need extra individuals to speak. The feedback I see on a few of these posts?dangerous
— Temilade Salami | Environmentalist (@theglobaltemi) October 4, 2025
That frustration is legitimate. Trustworthy work is now handled like an insult, particularly if it doesn’t translate into luxurious.
Between ambition and values
The reality is, there’s nothing improper with wanting consolation. Everybody desires a great life. However there’s a effective line between wanting stability and disrespecting effort.
Perhaps the actual drawback isn’t ladies wanting extra; it’s that we’ve made “extra” the one factor price having. And that’s the place the dialog about courting, cash, and standing in Nigeria must shift.
