Find out how to Discern Counterfeit Relationships and Belief God’s “No”
Have you ever ever been in a relationship with a man who you thought was the one? I imply, he was the right bundle on the surface—tall, good-looking, mentioned all the fitting issues, and even attended church commonly. He gave the impression to be the whole lot you prayed for in a future husband. However then, his true colours have been revealed. You later found that he was not despatched by God however extra like by Devil. You have been deceived and ended up heartbroken, feeling like a idiot.
Sis, you aren’t alone. I, like many different ladies, share the same story of a counterfeit relationship that left me offended and confused, selecting up all of the items of my shattered coronary heart. However I wish to inform you that there’s hope. God healed me and gave me knowledge to assist me keep away from it from occurring once more sooner or later. I wish to move this similar information on to you as your sister in Christ as I share extra of my private story—if you’ll let me.
What Is a Counterfeit Relationship?
First, I wish to make certain we’re on the identical web page after I check with the time period “counterfeit relationship.” It’s a relationship that appears good on the surface however, deep down, lacks authenticity and substance. Counterfeit companions are misleading by nature and sometimes have ulterior motives—to break their victims for private acquire by benefiting from the susceptible. They seem like godly however are actually wolves in sheep’s clothes. They’re by no means really surrendered to God.
2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “However I’m not shocked! Even Devil disguises himself as an angel of sunshine” (NLT). This scripture exhibits us that not the whole lot that looks like mild actually is.
I wish to share with you three recommendations on the right way to discern a counterfeit from the actual factor in order that you’ll by no means must be deceived or undergo the emotional ache of a counterfeit relationship once more.
Find out how to Acknowledge a Counterfeit Relationship
1. Test the Fruit
Oftentimes, many ladies can simply change into head over heels for a love curiosity, which makes them fall prey to counterfeits. I used to be a hopeless romantic and a straightforward goal for mine. I used to be blinded by love and neglected many purple flags. That’s why I encourage ladies to make use of their heads earlier than their hearts change into totally invested.
Sis, guard your coronary heart and use your eyes. Have a look at the fruit in his life. Matthew 7:18 and 20 says, “An excellent tree can’t produce dangerous fruit, and a foul tree can’t produce good fruit…Sure, simply as you’ll be able to determine a tree by its fruit, so you’ll be able to determine folks by their actions” (NLT). Pay much less consideration to the phrases he says and extra consideration to what he’s really doing. Simply since you met him at church or he’s a professing Christian doesn’t imply he’s the actual deal.
What’s his character like? Does he comply with by on his guarantees? Is he constant? Is he dwelling a life that’s submitted to the Phrase of God and His instructions? The man I dated was flaky, his tales didn’t add up, and his private life-style didn’t replicate that of a follower of Christ. His actions revealed dangerous fruit. You possibly can imitate mild, however you’ll be able to’t faux fruit. So once more I say, examine that fruit!
2. Take heed to Godly Counsel
One other tip I typically give is: don’t date alone. I encourage you to ask your godly neighborhood into your courting relationships. Proverbs 11:14 says, “The place there isn’t any counsel, the folks fall; however within the multitude of counselors there may be security” (NKJV). Wolves wish to go after the loner, however in the event you keep inside your neighborhood, you received’t change into a sufferer of their schemes.
Your folks, household, and trusted folks in your life can see what you’ll be able to’t. They’ll additionally present smart recommendation when challenges or uncertainty come up inside the relationship. Now, I encourage you to take heed of their recommendation. My family and friends warned me concerning the man I used to be courting. Sadly, I dismissed their warnings, and I suffered enormously. There’s no level in having counsel in the event you keep away from their knowledge. So take heed to them as a result of they’ve your greatest pursuits at coronary heart and don’t wish to see you get damage.
3. Belief God’s “No”
This one could be the hardest to do, but it surely presents the very best reward. Sadly, for me, it took some time to see the significance of trusting God’s “no.” Together with not heeding the recommendation of my associates, I additionally disregarded the warnings from God.
You see, God warned me by a number of goals that this man had a number of ladies in his life and that he was not His greatest for me. I didn’t wish to settle for it as a result of I didn’t wish to be alone. I felt like God simply needed me to be single ceaselessly. However the reality of the matter was that He had higher plans for me.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My ideas are usually not your ideas, nor are your methods My methods,” says the LORD. Sis, it’s important to belief God. He has your greatest pursuits at coronary heart. He can see the guts and secrets and techniques of the man you’re courting which you can’t see. He additionally is aware of the longer term and the plans He has for you. No matter which will entail, simply know that they’re good as a result of He’s good! Trusting God’s “no” will prevent time, assets, power, psychological stress, and heartache in the long term. It won’t make sense in the mean time, however trying again, you’ll notice it was all in love.
Discovering Therapeutic After a Counterfeit Relationship
It took some time, however I lastly trusted God’s “no” for that specific counterfeit. Afterward, I centered on rebuilding my relationship with God and sought therapeutic for my damaged coronary heart. I worshipped, learn the Bible, prayed, journaled what was on my coronary heart, took lessons, frolicked with like-minded believers, and centered on enhancing myself for when the fitting one got here. I discovered Psalm 147:3 to be true: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT). God did simply that as I frolicked with Him.
You might really feel such as you’ll by no means be capable to love once more after going by such emotional heartache, however I’m right here to inform you that it’ll get higher. Real love is on the market. On the proper time, God introduced me my husband, Damien. When he pursued me, I noticed the godly fruit in his life, all my associates accepted of the connection, and God (and my pure father) gave us the sure to get married. Now, we live in a purposeful and joy-filled marriage with children. It was all definitely worth the journey and the wait.
I pray you discovered my story encouraging. I wish to go away you with this final thought: “It’s higher to attend on the actual factor than waste time on a counterfeit.” Sis, you are value greater than an imitation. You deserve actual, godly love.
In the event you loved this weblog, I want to invite you to my FREE webinar referred to as “Avoiding Counterfeit Relationships,” the place I dive deeper into this subject and provide you with 4 sensible steps on the right way to break away from a counterfeit relationship and obtain therapeutic as you look forward to God’s greatest. I even have a FREE reward for many who attend the webinar and keep to the very finish. You possibly can acquire entry to the webinar HERE! See you inside.
With Love,
Kenady Nash
Picture Credit score: ©Getty Photos/dragana991
Collectively, Kenady and Damien share content material on relationships, religion, humor, and private development by YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok @DamienandKenady. In addition they co-own Fully You 365, LLC. To be taught extra go to completelyyou365.com.
