Some days, my purpose is just to place one foot in entrance of the opposite persistently sufficient to make it by means of to the tip of the day. I’m in a life stage the place it’s simple to really feel uncontrolled, with two younger youngsters and a full plate of actions (on high of labor and different obligations and calls for).
On these days, it’s nearly like my spouse and I are working a marathon, and we’re simply attempting to cross the end line.
However, God doesn’t need us to simply survive. He intends for us to thrive, or flourish.
“The thief comes solely to steal and kill and destroy. I got here that they could have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Jesus is speaking about having life, and having it to the fullest!
In the identical means, God desires our marriages to not solely final however to thrive. After I got down to write this text, I actually needed to meditate on what it means to thrive. I used to be actually intrigued by one definition I learn for the phrase… to develop vigorously.
Over the previous few years, I’ve taken up gardening. Now, I’ve grown a number of issues in planter packing containers and on patios by means of the years, however final yr it acquired real–my first, sizeable, in-ground backyard.
We moved to a brand new house with extra land and area to undertake such an effort, so I mentioned “why not?” Whereas I used to be feeling adventurous final spring, I made a decision to try to develop some cantaloupe vegetation from the seeds from a store-bought cantaloupe. I had no concept if it could work or not.
Effectively, let me let you know, with a bit work and quite a lot of persistence, these cantaloupe seeds sprang forth big vegetation that produced dozens of cantaloupes… and grew so vigorously they almost took over the backyard.
I do know it may be cliché to attract a comparability between a backyard and a marriage–but it’s almost unavoidable since it’s so apt. Like a backyard, a wedding wants cultivation.
You must take note of your backyard plot–add in the good things like compost and take away the unhealthy stuff like weeds and pests. Should you do these issues, the vegetation will thrive, or “develop vigorously.”
So, how can we get our marriage to do the identical? I imagine there are a number of key components that contribute to a thriving, rising marriage. If we keep our deal with these, then we’ll see the fruitful ends in {our relationships}.
Photograph Credit score: ©GettyImages/Bernardbodo
1. Dedication
The Bible has quite a bit to say about dedication in marriage. “Subsequently a person shall depart his father and his mom and maintain quick to his spouse, they usually shall turn out to be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ cherished the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:24). I’d say turning into “one flesh” and “giving your self up in your spouse” is fairly robust dedication.
At most marriage ceremony ceremonies, the 2 stand throughout from one another and vocalize their dedication to one another. It’s there at the beginning, however all too typically, it fades over time. Within the marriages that battle or don’t find yourself making it, one thing occurs or will get in the way in which of that unique dedication the 2 had to one another.
The opposite day, considered one of my favourite Bible academics and Twitter follows, Beth Moore, tweeted: “Simply gonna inform y’all one thing. By the point you’ve been married over 40 years, you’ve been married to about 4 completely different individuals. So have they. It’s a miracle of God any of us ever make it.”
Individuals change over time, that’s true. The person or lady you married might be not the identical particular person in the present day.
In case you are each maturing, and rising nearer to the Lord, try to be rising nearer to one another on the identical time. I take into consideration who I used to be 15 years in the past after I acquired married. I used to be only a child, it appears. My spouse and I’ve each grown tremendously, and we’re nearer now that we ever have been.
The one means that’s attainable is by staying committed–committed to the Lord and dedicated to your partner.
Photograph Credit score: ©GettyImages/Artem Peretiatko
2. Encouragement
I like the visible of athletes working a serious marathon, whereas pals and spectators line the perimeters to cheer them on. The runners spherical a nook and supporters maintain out a small cup of water that they seize on the transfer.
These small items of encouragement give them the bodily and psychological power to hold.
I not too long ago binge-watched a present on Amazon Prime referred to as the World Hardest Race. Groups from world wide competed in a grueling, multiday trek throughout a whole lot of miles in Fiji–open water paddling, whitewater rafting, mountain biking, rappelling, climbing and climbing. Think about an Iron Man marathon daily for every week and a half.
At numerous factors within the race, a member of the family could be awaiting them at camp to offer meals, encouragement, further gear and extra. To this ragged and weary racers, the quick respite and help from a cherished one was simply what they wanted to proceed.
Writer Gary Chapman writes in his ebook The 4 Seasons of Marriage, “One of the crucial efficient methods to assist your partner is to supply encouraging phrases. The phrase encourage means “to encourage braveness.”
All of us have areas wherein we really feel insecure and lack braveness, and that lack of braveness typically hinders us from undertaking the optimistic issues that we want to do. The latent potential inside your partner could await your encouraging phrases… Most of us have extra potential than we’ll ever develop.
The factor that holds us again is usually lack of braveness. A loving partner can provide that all-important catalyst.”
A profitable marriage has to incorporate two encouragers – individuals who encourage one another to be their finest. We must always attempt to “encourage each other and construct each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
If we encourage our partner each day, as an alternative of tearing them down, our marriage shall be stronger.
Photograph Credit score: ©Sparrowstock
3. Persistence
I’ve heard many preachers say that praying for persistence is likely one of the most harmful prayers you may ever pray. As quickly as you begin, God will provide you with alternatives to indicate it.
We might all use a bit extra persistence. Many people battle on this space, and but it’s a “fruit of the spirit” so you recognize it’s necessary to God. “However the fruit of the Spirit is love, pleasure, peace, persistence, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; towards such issues there isn’t any legislation” (Galatians 5:22-23).
God is extremely persistence with us. “The Lord will not be sluggish to meet his promise as some rely slowness, however is affected person towards you, not wishing that any ought to perish, however that every one ought to attain repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). If you consider it, it’s absurd that we are able to require a lot persistence, and never be wanting to return the favor to others (and even to God!).
Admittedly, I battle on occasion on this space. I count on persistence from these round me, however discover myself dropping all of it too typically.
A wedding requires persistence. In my life, I do know my spouse has to increase extra persistence towards me than she wants in return. I may be set in my methods. I can say issues that I shouldn’t say. I can get pissed off faster than I ought to. I can keep away from tough conversations. So, to sum up, I could be a handful generally.
Additionally, our lives collectively require persistence. Now we have to study to attend on God’s timing in our lives and in our marriages. We wait on God’s timing in our household and profession. And, whereas we wait, God strengthens our bond to one another.
“However let persistence have its excellent work, that you could be be excellent and full, missing nothing” (James 1:4, NKJV).
Photograph Credit score: ©GettyImages/Comstock Pictures
4. Jesus
It’s simple for day-to-day life to trigger us to lose sight of the one facet of our marriage that may maintain all of it collectively and assist it develop – Jesus himself. Marriage shouldn’t simply be between man and spouse; it ought to embrace God, the one who designed marriage within the first place.
In Shaunti Feldhahn’s ebook, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, she shares that 53 p.c of “Very Joyful {Couples}” agree with the assertion, “God is on the middle of our marriage” (in comparison with 7 p.c of Struggling {Couples}).
She writes, “Extremely comfortable {couples} are likely to put God on the middle of their marriage and deal with Him, relatively than on their marriage or partner, for success and happiness.”
When marriages hit a snag, the probably perpetrator is that one or each have shifted the main target away from God. It’s simple to turn out to be consumed by our work, household drama, monetary obligations and extra. It’s simple to deal with our issues and overlook the Downside-Solver.
We are able to even be consumed by seemingly good issues, however lacking out on the most effective factor. Our marriage ceremony ceremonies are filled with Scripture and prayer, however too many marriages don’t have room for both.
We elevate so many different issues in our lives, and permit them to take the place reserved for God and Him alone.
If we put God first in each facet of our lives, He’ll care for the remainder. “However search first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all this stuff shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). If husband and spouse are dedicated to following God’s will and searching for Him each day, they’ll naturally develop nearer to one another.
C.S. Lewis provided this angle: “When I’ve discovered to like God higher than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest higher than I do now.”
If we’re higher Christians, we’ll be higher husbands and wives, and we’ll have a greater marriage.
Photograph Credit score: ©Emmanuel Phaeton/Unsplash
Initially printed Tuesday, 14 October 2025.
